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Once we were at the wedding of one of my wife's relatives and he turned the water into wine, the little shithouse. There sports were teetotal dowagers standing on tables doing the sports dance of the seven veils left, right and centre, and an uncle who wasn't supposed to sports touch a drop because of an allergy vomited on the bride. ..Another time he made a complete arse of us by ruining a funeral. Everyone's there in their best mourning gear, the catering's already paid for, and right in the middle of it laughing boy goes and resurrects the corpse. Made a hollow charade of the whole thing. Nobody knew what to do or where to look. The rabbi tried to carry on as though nothing had happened, trying to hold the corpse down with one hand while he was saying the prayers.
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