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| nasty, actual incest, politics, mom son., street, puff daddy, threesomes, actors, savage, alternative papers, brother on sister porn, handjob, speech, beck, father, throat, | I was lucky enough at 17-going-on-18 years old to be interracial dating a girl named Darcy who looked like she walked out of the pages of those magazines I was always whacking off to. Somehow I turned on the charm and came up with a bag of pot all at the same time, and interracial found myself with a gorgeous girlfriend. Looked like she belonged at Hef's place she did. But she was with me. And we screwed a lot. She was probably half a foot taller interracial than me, and at least 20 pounds heavier than me, 'cuz I was a shrimp. Some say I still am, but back then, I definitely was—really skinny and really bony and really short. Darcy used to complain about my hipbones being so sharp on her inner thighs that she didn't need to shave there any more. |
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| Now first things first, I politics know what you're thinkin'. Jewish? Tex Missouri is Jewish? I didn't know there were any Jews from Texas. Or Missouri. Well, I'm pretty sure there's gotta be Jews in Missouri, especially since there's Jews in Afghanistan. And I am absolutely sure there's Jews in Texas, cuz I was one. Still am, Jewish I mean, but I'm no longer a politics Texan, politics if by Texan you mean "currently residing in the state of Texas." Anyway, there are Jews in Texas, or there was when I last checked for 'em, and some of us were, or one of us was, engagin' in 3-way sexual escapades with 18-year old nubiles. And somewhere in the background was lurkin', like a kugel-hungry variety of the chupacabra, the Jewish Mom, doing her best to sabotage what would have been the SINGLE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. |
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