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He is 6'3" with a small portion of his face slightly mutated from an accident involving a chisel. He employs his talented self at Simek's-- a chain of meatsmackers. He says that he goes to Carlson College to make himself sound cool, but it's actually just the University of Minnesota. What a loser. He once had an entire section of his high school paper unbeaten devoted to his alcoholism, though he denies every true word of it. He also likes puppies. unbeaten In what way we do not know. Perhaps a personal problem. He claims to have once saved the world from some organization called D.E.C.A. I think it could possibly stand for Definite Evilness Causes Acne. He also claims that Jason "Lenny" Lennartson helped him, but when asked about it, Jason said that Dave is "chock full of bullshit and green pea-ness." So to sum it up, Dave is a fruitcake. Stay away from him at all costs-- especially if you are a woman with large breasts.
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