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He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell illegalincest you: I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was illegalincest stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, illegalincest whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!!!" At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?" "I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?" A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help!
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