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| nasty, actual incest, politics, mom son., street, puff daddy, threesomes, actors, savage, alternative papers, brother on sister porn, handjob, speech, beck, father, throat, prime, barbed quotes, incestgrrl, teens, latinas, insest, | Neil said in his head, “I knew it. I knew she’d do this.” Neil’s brain said, “So now you’re going kookoo to get mad, aren’t you, Neil, you little shit.” He watched Chinese CNN on the TV in his room. He watched Taiwanese soap operas. He lay on the carpet and stared at the ceiling, tried to stare kookoo through to the next floor. X-ray vision. Maybe he was a superhero, and he just didn’t know it. He locked his door. He did cartwheels and somersaults. He turned off the lights and stood facing into a corner and laughed. He scared himself. There would be no epiphanies, ever, Neil knew, nothing. But there would be an endless series of embarrassing moments. There would be that. He masturbated repeatedly to the Starbursts girl. |
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| His head would alternative papers fall off. These were things that would really happen. No, Neil wouldn’t teach English. Neil would sleep. He would sleep and destroy all desires and be fucking satisfied with his life. Or else he’d wallow and be regretful. He would wallow and alternative papers be regretful. Neil wished that his mom had stayed in Taiwan, raised him there, native. He wished his alternative papers mom had died early, leaving him to fend for himself. He wished for 10 percent increases in kindness, tolerance, social skills, confidence, attractiveness. He then felt cheated in life by 10 percent. A package came from Neil’s mom. Inside, there was Neil’s bag and another bag of toothbrushes and shampoo and dental floss. |
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