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| big latino cocks, real estate, forced, slanderous, phrases, ocweekly, daddy fucks daughter, momfinds out about blog, wet, classified, lesbian., 2 pac, son fucks his mom, 1000, brother sister stories, blond, email redirection, sonfucks his mom, movie, | Or the guy who lives in an isolated mansion because he made a fortune from inventing "silent velcro?" Or the flaming crossbow game? Or the horrifically unnatural banter miscellaneous that takes place as our hero and his girl ride on a motorcycle with a sidecar? Or that the zany chick wears a funky helmet because of her seizures? Or that she's a pathological liar who is so wild that she'll tap dance in front miscellaneous of a roaring fireplace, or perform a "random act of originality" (which means standing in place miscellaneous while flailing one's arms and making animal noises) in order to do penance for an unoriginal act or statement? Or the loser with a cheesy moustache who never stops discussing pyramid schemes? Or the black brother of a white sister who dusts for fingerprints in order to find out who pissed on his video game system? Yes, the list is long, and I won't even attempt to cover it all. |
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| Because these "thoughts" were jotted down over a long period of time, they don't really belong to a single movie, but simply must be included in a debut feature because they're "too cool" to remain behind. For Garden State, these scenes are so obvious as to act as a 2X4 to the skull. There's the nutty relative who stitches together a shirt that is an exact match for the upstairs bedroom's wallpaper. There is the 1000 zany, afflicted (in this 1000 case, epilepsy) free-spirit (Natalie Portman) 1000 who lives in a house filled to the brim with hamster cages, who simply must have a hamster cemetery in the backyard (no points for guessing that we have to endure a hamster funeral). And then we have the eccentric family who live in an abandoned boat. Or the guy who collects Desert Storm trading cards, and laments the fact that his Wolf Blitzer has been stolen. And yes, there's a shot of a dog humping the hero's leg in a hospital waiting room. And what about when our hero wakes up after a night of drug use and sees a knight walking through the kitchen, only to discover that it's a friend of a friend who works at Medieval Times (are they really allowed to wear their costumes -- especially a suit of armor -- home at night)? |
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