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He hangs out with Kyle Nutting (Also on this list) all the time. Apparently he doesn't feel that he looks tiny enough, therefore he goes and finds the biggest, fattest man on anal the face of God's green earth to hang out with. Mike was involved with a few pretty blonde girls here and there, but they all dumped him off when anal he anal started dressing up like super heroes (Batman mostly) and watching pro wrestling 24 hours a day. I'd also like to take this time to mention that I have slept with every woman he has ever dated. Twice. To send a message directly to Mike "The guy with the pink tights" Schwalen-- Press 8334. MIKE RYAN He is my brother, and I am proud. A homeless man, he travels from town to town gathering discarded food and half-smoked cigarettes for his own use. He spends his days drinking booze and playing "Yahtzee" with himself. During family get-togethers he constantly soils himself while rambling on about haggis and his imaginary "extra body parts." At the request of many, I will not explain that incident any further.
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