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| mature porn star , mature porno movies , mature brunette pussy , on your mother fucking knees , mature big tits movies , lohan, sweet mature pussy , backpage, forum, handjobs, sexy mature men , almost famous, dynamic ip address, mature stocking porn , mature ladies sex , older men having sex , phrases, mature oral movies , mature woman movies , gay pictures, mature women galleries , | The Sneeze Home | Archive | Store | Contact Posted by Steven at 09:38 AM Steve, Don't Eat It! Vol. 2 Pickled Pork Rinds While perusing the "Good Lord, NOOOO!" aisle of the mature porn videos supermarket, I came across the atrocity known as Dolores Brand Pickled Pork Rinds. These are not the crunchy pork rinds you'll often see over by the chips. These are their grosser, soggier, potentially botulism-ier cousins. The mature porn videos label says "Ready to Eat." They left off "By Dumb-Asses." There is also a red starburst proudly proclaiming "Nuevo Envase de Vidrio mature porn videos Reusable". Not knowing much Spanish, I could only assume that meant "Oh Crap -- A Jar of Skin!" I was wrong. It means: "New Reusable Glass Container" which I think is their subtle way of saying you can also use the jar to puke in. |
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| If you've ever smelled a can of dog food, it's just like that. Only imagine you are opening the can while your head is wedged in a horse's ass. Inside is a smooth, oddly pink meat paste. So smooth, in fact, mature woman movies I dare call it "creamy." (I mature woman movies actually got a mature woman movies little gaggy just typing that.) Surprisingly, it was a little spicier than I expected. Although, that sensation may have been a by-product of my tastebuds dying. The can shows a serving suggestion of the Potted Meat being served on squares of toast. I would also suggest squares of toilet paper. Or maybe a nice diaper. All I can tell you is, I survived the first installment of "Steve, Don't Eat It." And I have to admit it may have even been a little educational. I know I learned at least one thing from "Ralph's Potted Meat"-- Ralph is a fucking dick. Not surprisingly, I've come up with a little slogan the peeps who handle Potted Meat Marketing can use (no charge, as always): POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes. |
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